Is man without a soul?  

Posted by Rudrakshha in


Is man without a soul?
Yes but to know the truth we must have a strong desire to see it. Every person is capable of knowing this truth. If we are ready to unveil this unseen passage, give wings to your imagination. Explore, explore, explore … as if there is no tomorrow.
rudraksh 01, Views:1363 Comments:10



I THINK, we have no soul as our ancient teachers have taught us. This concept has been loaded on to us by others for their vested interests. Reality is a far cry and such crude thoughts are good enough to confuse average minds.

Medical research has shown that if we stimulate certain areas of the brain with a small electric current, we can give people the experience of spiritual trance. We may feel that God is touching our heart, or that the soul of a dead relative, friend or a loved one is near you. Although there is no evidence to support a belief in authentic soul travel, however, as all studies indicate consciousness only exists in the brain cells, which create it.

We cannot remove consciousness from the physical body because consciousness is a physical phenomena created by chemistry, just as a firefly’s light is created by chemical reactions. That is why we find turning on or off of consciousness of people injected with drugs.

Near death experiences and even certain drugs, such as ketamine and sodium pentothal, can give the feeling of being outside your body but researchers say that is just an illusion of the holographic nature of the human brain. When neural communications between the body and brain are reduced, the brain is free to project your sense of self anywhere it chooses while partially asleep or even during the preliminary stages of death. Prolonged fasting and isolation can also produce hallucinations and distortions of reality.

If we inject a human being with enough sedatives, enlightened or not, he will get unconscious. If we damage certain areas of the brain we can drastically alter human behavior. We can turn our conservative finance minister into a garbage eating bum just by killing off some of the brain cells that contain the bio-computer programme of his personality. If we damage other areas of the brain, we can erase all memory.

If consciousness, personality and memory are all physical phenomena of brain cells, then why does our brain dies. Our permanent identity of time-energy-space continues unharmed but there is no soul. It also means that we all achieve ’moksha’ at the time of our death because there is no personal cycle of birth and death to escape from and no magical after-life either.

The psychological need for a feeling of immortality is so great that our tendencies have become part of our DNA code. Humans who believe in supernatural religions tend to be calmer, healthier and thus live longer than the non-believers.

Scientists know that there is only one real life form on planet earth and that is DNA itself. DNA is like a giant vine that has taken over the world. Through the never ending chain of DNA code, we are not only closely related to other mammals but also intimately related to insects, plants and even bacteria upward into more complex plants and animals. DNA is not just a helpful chemical substance that resides inside us. DNA is our biological level identity, our three dimensional physical ’soul’.

But to know the truth we must have a strong desire to see it. Every person is capable of knowing this truth. If we are ready to unveil this unseen passage, give wings to your imagination. Explore, explore, explore … as if there is no tomorrow. Enjoy as if this is the last breath.

1 comments »

Marriage after infidelity is a painful experience  

Posted by Rudrakshha in ,


Marriage after infidelity is a painful experience
Healing from infidelity is hard, painful process. Both the partners must be committed to repairing the damage. One of the greatest challenges people attempting to recover from marital infidelity experience is dealing with feelings of loneliness .
CJ: rudraksh 01, 30 Jan 2009 Views:4781 Comments:25

“IF HE/SHE cheats once, get help. If he/she cheats twice, get out.” Not a bad advice, really, because sometimes one can make a mistake and realise all that they stood to lose in choosing to cheat. When that happens, if the party which cheated realises this, makes amends and comes back to the relationship with total honesty that relationship could actually become stronger than it was before because they will realise just what they stood to lose and will do everything in their power not to lose it again.

Marriage can survive infidelity but it hurts. Healing from infidelity is hard, painful work; both the partners must be committed to repairing the damage. One of the greatest challenges people attempting to recover from marital infidelity experience is dealing with the feelings of loneliness and isolation. Every relationship has some good days and some bad days and that’s normal with marriage too. Only you can decide to heal and offer forgiveness, just make sure the partner is worth it. Marriage will be successful again after infidelity if both agree that they will try to make their marriage work. This is possible only if the cheated partner forgives and tries to forget the offence and the cheater mate promises not to cheat again and regrets or makes amends for the wrongdoing.

However, if the person cheats again, then it’s time to let go and move on.


Think hard and you will find the answer within. Deep down you could be dissatisfied with the marriage. Instead of insulting the institution of marriage as well as your partner by indulging in extra-marital affairs, get out of the marriage before it gets worse. Nothing can be worse in a marriage than cuckolding your partner by being unfaithful.

The lesson that one learns from infidelity is that there is difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul that loving doesn’t mean leaning and company doesn’t mean security. One accepts the fact that kisses aren’t contracts and presents aren’t promises and embraces defeat with a head up attitude, with the grace of a man or a woman, not the grief of a child. One learns to build all the roads on today because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans.

23 comments »

Secret of successful marriage  

Posted by Rudrakshha in , ,


Secret of successful marriage :
Perfect marriages don't exist in the real world. But couples who are willing to put the time, energy and commitment to making their marriage work, can surely reap the flame of love and keep their marriage growing .
 Rudranjali ,     Views:4632   Comments:26

DO YOU envy the couples who seem to have a perfect happy marriage? No need to be envious, you can have one too. These couples are in no way perfect, probably not even happier but they know how to keep their marriage fresh and exciting. The longer we’re married, the more we tend to forget that we’re married to another person.

We begin to think of our spouses as extensions of ourselves - then we get frustrated when they act in ways that we wouldn’t. We say things like, “Why would you do something like that?” or “How can you think that?” These reactions overlook the fact of difference that our partners are not a part of us and that they have their own individuality. Your sweetheart will inevitably have certain qualities or interests that aren’t appealing to you. 'Otherness' is part of being married - no two people are completely compatible.

It doesn’t take a major change to improve a marriage. The path to a more loving relationship is tread with small steps - with an unexpected compliment, the touch of a hand or a call just to say 'hello'. You can spend thousands on a big anniversary bash for your spouse but the celebration won’t mean much if you haven’t said 'I love you' on the other days of the year.
 
Some little things that can make your marriage better. If you're looking for ways to improve your marriage, you can start with a compliment.
  
So, when was the last time you gave your special someone a genuine compliment?
 
With good manners and politeness getting less and less common in today’s society, even romantic relationships and marriages are starting to suffer from a lack of common courtesy and compliments. Sure, your wife or husband may already know that you think they are attractive or exciting or intelligent. But why should that stop you from using romantic ideas and complimenting them every now and then?
 
Compliments shouldn’t only be reserved for new acquaintances or people who you’re trying to impress. The special people whose support we sometimes take for granted need an occasional compliment, too. A simple 'you look very nice today' or 'your smile is too much' can make your lover feel like a million bucks.
 
There’s no reason to go overboard with compliments, of course and too many can go to a person’s head or start sounding cynical. But promising yourself to give your significant other at least one nice compliment a day or every other day is a great way to make your lover feel appreciated and add some good old-fashioned romance to your relationship.
 
If you cannot think of a reason to give your spouse a compliment, wait until you can think of something to compliment them about -  "You look wonderful," or "That shirt really shows off your eyes." These compliments are more personal and let your spouse know that you find him/her desirable. We all like to be complimented on our appearance but it's common to receive this kind of affirmation more from friends and relatives than from our partner. This is sad because we most want and even need this appreciation from our spouse.
 
When you give sincere compliments to your spouse, several things are accomplished, including but not limited to:
  • Your spouse's self-confidence is increased.
  • Your spouse will feel more appreciated.
  • Your own self-worth is increased.
  • You will feel more romantic.
  • The friendship between the two of you is strengthened.
If your spouse doesn't compliment your appearance, don't look for it elsewhere. Talk to your partner about how you wish to please him. Find out what you could do to encourage more of these compliments and then try some of these things. On the other hand, if you haven't complimented your spouse lately, it's time to start. Don't miss a powerful opportunity to communicate your love and strengthen your relationship.
 
When your spouse does something good or kind or sacrificial, what do you say? Too often a spouse says nothing. I recently heard a psychologist explain that it's normal for a couple to take each other for granted. He said we should accept this as the typical progression of marriage — the longer we are married, the more you take each other for granted.
 
Well, I refuse to accept this. It's not right nor is it healthy.
 
Your spouse does a lot that deserves your appreciation. Maybe it's keeping the house in order; it might be managing children or finances; it could even be going to work or to the grocery store. It is very easy to begin to take your spouse for granted after years of marriage and to just assume that they know how you feel about them.


Everyone needs a pat on the back for a job well done and your wife/husband is no different. If you let your partner know how much you value and appreciate them, it will create an encouraging, nurturing environment and can help you be a more effective team. Don’t take your wife/husband for granted anymore, start complimenting today and you will see that it will create a whole new atmosphere in your home, it truly will.

Some of you as you read this are probably thinking, "Yeah, all that sounds real nice but you don't know me, my spouse or what we've been through." You're right, I don't know. But what I do know is that you will reap what you sow. Perfect marriages don't exist in the real world. But couples who are willing to put the time, energy and commitment to making their marriage work, will be able to reap the flame of love and keep their marriage growing.

 Mark Twain once said that he could live a full month on nothing but a single compliment.

28 comments »

Suicide: A permanent solution to a temporary problem?  

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Suicide: A permanent solution to a temporary problem? 
It is vital not to pressurise the person into talking if they don’t want to but giving them the time and space to talk openly without interrupting or offering solutions or judging them can provide the first step in helping them cope with the crisis.
 Rudranjali 01,     Views:5210   Comments:56

ONE QUESTION, which has troubled me so often is what could be the reason, which makes a person decide to end his own life? What are those circumstances that living becomes so difficult? Why a person decides to destroy God’s finest creation? Why can’t we just stop worrying and start living...? There is always a way, we need to have the will.

Most suicides appear to be associated with a long-lasting depression; they are often "a permanent solution to a temporary problem." Others who commit suicide are not depressed. They kill themselves because of terminal illness, intractable pain, and/or the loss of dignity, control and love.

It is almost as though the darkness of an evil has a hold on our minds and hearts in those darkest moments when suicide seems right, rational and eminent. The main problem with suicide is that it is murder. You would be murdering a person even though it would be your own self -- you are still a person. It is a health issue -- the health of our brain determines how we perceive and feel the world. When we are depressed, we must consider that our decisions will be based on a body system that is not functioning as it should. The thinking and feeling process is not working right. It is our pain and a "broken" brain that is leading us to suicide. Through our tears and our suffering, we must try to recognise that we are not well, and our thoughts are a danger to us.  But sometimes we cannot see this.

We usually don’t want to kill ourselves over a broken leg. We have more experience in knowing that the body can heal itself, in this case with a doctor’s help, to set the leg so it can heal. Emotions have so much power. And these are unbalanced thoughts and emotions of an almost "injured" brain. It is almost as if a dark force is whispering in our ear, trying to hurt us, trying to get us to hurt ourselves, and sometimes, to hurt other people. Many commit suicide not for their own hurt, but they feel that it would hurt the person who has hurt them.

Most people have thought of suicide at some time of their lives and not all people who commit suicide have mental health problems at the time of death. However, a majority of people who kill themselves do have such problems, usually to a serious degree. Sometimes, this has been diagnosed before the person’s death and at times not. People who kill themselves have often told someone that they do not feel life is worth living or that they have no future. Some may have actually said they want to die. Whilst it may be the case that some people talk about suicide as a way of getting the attention they need, it is very important that everyone who says they feel suicidal be treated seriously. People who have attempted to kill themselves are significantly more likely to eventually die by suicide than the rest of the population.


Feeling suicidal is often a temporary state of mind. Whilst someone may feel low or distressed for a sustained period the actual suicidal crisis can be relatively short term. This is what makes timely emotional support so important. People may talk about their feelings because they want support in dealing with them. In this sense it may be that they do indeed want attention in which case giving that attention may save their life. The majority of people who feel suicidal do not actually want to die; they do not want to live the life they have. The distinction may seem small but is, in fact, very important and that is why other options at the right time are so vital.

Suicidal behavior differs from person to person. Some people show very positive behavior such as happiness or relief once their decision to take their own life and end the pain has been made.

Unusual behavior, such as being very withdrawn or excessively animated can also be a sign that there is something wrong. If someone is going through an emotional distress they can feel very isolated and will sometimes show anger or impatience towards the people close to them. Low self-esteem, being close to tears and not being able to cope with small every day events are also signs that someone is struggling to cope with overwhelming feelings.

Physical symptoms of depression and distress also include sleeplessness, loss of appetite or irregular eating, stomach aches, panic attacks, low energy and loss of concentration. Signs that someone is suicidal can include talking of tidying up their affairs or expressing feelings of despair and failure.

If you are worried about a friend, colleague or family member they may really appreciate your asking them how they are. You don’t have to be able to solve their problem, or even to completely understand it, but listening to what they have to say will at least let them know you care.

Remember to act quickly. When someone is distressed, it may be a seemingly small thing or something which only affects them indirectly which acts as the trigger to them becoming suicidal or acting out suicidal thoughts. Letting someone know that you are there whenever they want to talk is the first step in offering help.

If you feel able to, offer support and encourage your friend, colleague or family member to talk about how they are feeling. Ask direct questions and don’t be afraid of frank discussions. If someone is talking about suicide always take it seriously. It is a myth that talking about suicide is attention seeking.It is vital not to pressurise the person into talking if they don’t want to, but giving them the time and space to talk openly without interrupting or offering solutions or judging them can provide the first step in helping them cope with the crisis.

Remember that it is difficult to support someone who is suicidal on your own. Take care not to take on so much of other people’s problems that you yourself start feeling depressed. Encourage your friend to seek emotional support and talk to someone they trust -- maybe friends, family, medical services.

If you are worried about a friend, colleague or family member they may really appreciate you asking how they are. Talking about a problem is never easy. You don’t have to be able to solve their problem, or even to completely understand it, but listening to what they have to say will at least let them know you care.

13 comments »

Loneliness: Enlighten yourself  

Posted by Rudrakshha in , ,


Loneliness: Enlighten yourself 
As Osho stated, one wouldn't try to push darkness out of a dark room so as to bring in light. That is impossible because darkness doesn't really exist. Rather, it's simply the absence of light. So the answer is to turn on the light..
 Rudranjali 01,    Views:3250   Comments:15

 
Little do men perceive what solitude is, and how far it extendeth. 
For a crowd is not company, and faces are but a gallery of pictures, 
and talk but a tinkling cymbal, where there is no love.
Francis Bacon

WE ALL find ourselves alone in the world and believe that we are so. I know we've all felt terribly lonely, at some point, in our lives when, amidst a room full of people, we felt as if we were total strangers. I think it happens to everybody, even those with a busy social life and a lot of friends. We feel lonely within and, at the same time, we are socially related and surrounded by others, whether we like it or not. There are times when we isolate ourselves from the crowd to experience a sense of separation from others and this sense of being separated shapes and enhances our personality and our identity. This loneliness can also be termed 'good or positive loneliness' and poets describe it as 'solitude'. Philosophers term it aloneness. Solitude or aloneness is a point where a person is alone by choice. We can develop a multitude of talents if we are given space and time to develop them. A lot of good paintings, writing, art, and poetry were born out of solitude.

I read these words somewhere and liked them and now I share them with you:
"Loneliness is when you think of others, miss them; it is a negative state. Aloneness is the presence of oneself, it is very positive, you can fill the universe with your presence and there is no need for anybody."

We are sometimes not sure how to describe loneliness, to characterise what exactly it is. Well, we don’t have the exact words. We work our way around the thought, then hesitate and stumble, but fail to get to its heart. I sometimes think that loneliness has to do with having intimate relations with other people, but that’s not all. It has much to do with our inability to relate or connect with others, or, perhaps, to put it better, our irresistible ability as human beings to imagine our existence as individuals.

You and I are trying hard to understand this concept of loneliness. I mean we are trying to think in ways that bring us closer to understanding the truth, the basics of it… maybe we are trying to be philosophical. As lovers of truth and to achieve higher levels of sensitivity, we want to be close to it and understand the concept.

When we get married, we sign on for a life of sharing the room, bedsheets, bathroom space, cold germs, families, emotions, moods. As per the marriage vow: “To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part." Couples sometimes may not realise that "for better or worse" may mean that they will share their emotional states as well. You still love each other, but other priorities take up more and more of your time. You may end up seeing each other at home only between other responsibilities.

You share your house, your expenses, your children, but you aren't sharing your love, your goals, your dreams and your life. Rather than husband and wife, you feel like room-mates. Monotony creeps into the lives, and this monotony causes almost everything - even tenderness, sexuality, and intimate conversation - to become routine. Quite often both partners react to such a situation with desperation, depression and resignation. There’s nothing to say to the other person; regardless of how badly one wants a point of contact; he seems to encounter nothing but inner desolation and emptiness.

This emptiness, isolation from each other and the feeling of loneliness when you're married is harmful; it can damage your marriage; this feeling of vague dissatisfaction can be the end of your union. Because most of us do not expect to feel lonely after marriage. The idea that an individual can become lonely in a committed partnership is often too painful to deal with. There is no guarantee against loneliness. It is a myth that marriage will end your loneliness, because the feelings of loneliness exist after marriage too. I think the quality of marriage, or, in other words, what the marriage provides is an important factor in determining the levels of loneliness. Having a pessimistic approach and saying that 'I deserve a better marriage than this', or, 'I deserve someone who can meet my needs', will never bring you any healing.

What do you say?

Do you know what the first thing to overcome loneliness is?

Be at ease and be satisfied with your own self. The feeling of loneliness need not, necessarily, stem from being alone or having nobody with us...it’s caused by dissatisfaction with the people in your life. And it includes dissatisfaction with yourself.

As Osho stated, one wouldn't try to push darkness out of a dark room so as to bring in light. That is impossible because darkness doesn't really exist. Rather, it's simply the absence of light. So, the answer is to turn on the light in that room to make darkness disappear.
Loneliness is simply darkness that has enveloped us and this can't be dealt with directly because it doesn't really exist; it's simply the absence of light at that time in our life.

You will be able to overcome your negative feelings only when you learn to create a conducive atmosphere yourself.
Your need to be special, to be loved, could only be met at a spiritual level, from deep within yourself, from the divinity within. You will enjoy others’ company when you enjoy your own first.

You have to be confident about who you are and how you feel. I am sure there are a lot of people who are your friends and want to be with you as friends. Do not wait for other people to visit you or approach you. You take the first step and start thinking them as your friends. You open your heart to let people in because nobody likes to knock on closed doors.

You are very special and there are so many people who want to be with you. Just realise that, and life will be so good. Sit with your self and see what you have to offer. I am sure you will be surprised to see how much you can do....

The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself: Mark Twain

8 comments »

Can a man and woman be friends?  

Posted by Rudrakshha in , ,

Can a man and woman be friends? 

The great debate of can men and women be friends have kept several thinker wondering even till date. Perhaps, a friendship between the opposite sex is possible but only if both follow a set of rules and curtail the level of intimacy in relationship.
 Rudranjali 01,     Views:8210   Comments:40

“Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.”  - Oscar Wilde

FRIENDSHIP IS a gift to mankind. A relation made by our choice and not force or fate. Friends are there to help us through difficult situations, they are there to laugh and cry with us, to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand, to make bad times bearable and also to make good times even more wonderful. Friendship comes in all forms and complexities, but nothing confuses this important relation as much as gender does. Now a friend can be of an opposite sex.

The question here is: “Is it possible for men and women to be just friends without being romantic?”
Before you answer this, be reminded that there is a significant qualifier here: 'just'. Which means 'only' friends? It's probably a discussion and by discussion I, of course, mean argument.

The answer to this question would mostly be ‘Yes …’ and with the big yes there would also be an addition of ‘but’ or ‘only if’ so the answer everyone is avoiding is, no. The concept of platonic friendship that arose and was largely talked and written from the time of Greek Philosopher Plato still remains as unclear and confusing as ever.

Opposite sex friendship often moves from being just platonic and leads to romance because the qualities that people look for in a friend and mate is often similar. When men and women look for a life partner they look for someone, who is similar to them in intelligence, attractiveness, views and values. The dilemma is, friends look for people, who are similar in those ways as well.

For many people, the idea of a man and a woman being friends is fascinating but questionable. They argue, meaning that the relationship eventually becomes romantic, it leads to something else. 

It's hard not to cross the line. Being friends with the opposite sex means spending time together. In these moments may come a weak moment when emotions and libido may get in the way and friendship can be ruined. 

We come across innumerable stories and movies, where they portray male-female friendship but rarely do they portray it as an ongoing, devoted friendship of a man and a woman as an end in itself? Even the acclaimed film When Harry Met Sally, which got a lot of people talking about cross-gender friendships, ultimately proves to be another tale of romantic love. Same goes with Bollywood sizzler Kuch Kuch Hota Hai.
 
On the other hand, some people argue that men and women can be friends if they are mature enough to understand the difference between love and friendship. They just do not buy the concept of romantic pull. 

Now let's cut to the chase and get to the bottom line: Men and women can be friends 'but' or rather 'if' only they thread this path very consciously and be careful. If they are single, no worries because the romantic pull or attraction would just make you lose one innocent friendship but if they are married, they need to be very very cautious and not ruin the marriage hence need to follow several rules. 

Certain borders cannot be compromised. There shouldn’t be exchanges of things that couldn't be read or heard by the spouse. Emails, meetings, telephonic conversations, text messages should be limited. You should not place yourself in any situation where romance can grow. Attraction really can grow in situations where you have alcoholic drinks together. Romance grows when people are alone; romance grows when people tell secrets, secrets that you don't share with your spouse.

You also need to be understanding and considerate to your spouse. You cannot be spending too much of your time, emotions, mental space and money on your friend and expect your spouse to accept that your friendship is innocent and that you are just friends.
So, men and women can be friends, but the possibility of crossing the bridge to romance will always be present. Having said that, I believe it is also playing with fire. There is a distinct possibility of being burned. And as Osho says: “I am against all kinds of relationships. For example, I don't like the word 'friendship' but I love the word 'friendliness'. Friendliness is a quality within you; friendship becomes a burdensome relationship.”

But as an individual, I still strongly believe that life is nothing but an opportunity to know self and explore. If you are alive, the opportunity is there - even to the last breathe. You may have missed your whole life: just the last breath, the last moment on the earth, if you can explore and be true friend to someone even for a second, you have not missed anything - because a single moment of love and true friendship is equal to the whole eternity. That is the joy of love and true friendship; the exploration of consciousness.

5 comments »

This morning ragas  

Posted by Rudrakshha in , ,

This morning ragas that bring sunshine to others are playing quivers in my left side. Where is the sun? Only clouds I see from my window. All is so hazy.
Silence all around, yet noisy. Then how would I know am weeping inside.
Let the noise take over. Let the clouds play. Let the Raga thrash in. Let the sand slip slowly. Let the pain rise. Solace has its own taste. Let the taste rise.
I don’t exist….do I…I am here but you don’t care You don’t see me You are looking at me but instead you look through me at my friends or yours it doesn’t matter it just means there’s always something else someone else some reason to ignore me whatever I don’t exist I guess. 

Actually, I do a lot for you, Help you when you’re down, I even take the time to make you smile again. Act like your clown. But when it’s over, it’s all the same. Me silent and you ignoring me, back to our original game. I don’t get why I’m the one in the dark,
The one left out in the end. Maybe all I want, Is you to be my friend. I guess that won’t happen, I guess I was always meant to sit at the back. I guess I was always meant to be invisible, I guess that’s my only track. I understand that I’m different, but that doesn’t mean I deserve this. I’m nothing but ignored. Never looked at, and always missed. You cheated on me one to many times. You acted like it wasn’t a crime. You thought it would be all right. That we wouldn’t even fight. But its not alright …you hear me…not alright......

Your first kiss! The kiss of your blood, the kiss the start of this heart filled pain. The ache the pain the torture you give me. The stress you cause me. I just want to scream my heart out. I just want to die. You strangle me, making me cry tears of blood. You hate me? Why so much? What have I done? Well forget it! It’s over now time for me to die no turning back the knife plunging through my heart. You wanted this. So this is what you got. 

Blood everywhere the death of me is of your dead less power!

 

6 comments »

Marriage can be a hard thing  

Posted by Rudrakshha in , , ,

Marriage can be a hard thing. It sometimes feels like prison. I mean honestly who created this. I am married; I have been for about 17 years. There is so much to go through. More than I ever thought it would be. 

We usually say that those who think don’t marry, and those who marry do not think. In fact, if we were rational and egoistic beings, that could be a reasonable and logical way to behave. Marriage involves too many compromises and limits to the individual freedom of both partners. To prevent conflicts of interests and idiosyncrasy clashes, not marrying could be indeed a rational decision. Fortunately or unfortunately we are not very rational beings. We can’t avoid feelings, and we can’t stop following our feelings and our instincts - and between them the instinct of love, and marriage. Maybe we are rushing when falling in love or marrying, or mingling love and marriage. But we can’t help it. It’s in our human nature.  

There are huge signs of a massive violence of men over women, in the past.

Wife and Servant are the same
But only differ in the name.

A girl, a young woman, or even an old woman should not do anything independently, even in her own house. In childhood a woman should be under her father’s control, in youth under her husband’s, and later on under her sons. No slave is a slave to the same lengths, and in so full a sense of the word, as a wife is. 

The principle which regulates the existing social relations between the two sexes – the legal subordination of one sex to the other – is wrong in itself, and now one of the chief hindrances to human improvement. The true virtue of human beings is fitness to live together as equals; claiming nothing for themselves but what they as freely concede to everyone else; regarding command of any kind as an exceptional necessity, and in all cases a temporary one.

0 comments »

 

Posted by Rudrakshha in , , , , ,


Marriage is not just about sex 
One excuse often given for cheating, is unhappiness or dissatisfaction in marriage. Very often it is a lame excuse saying that one is not sexually satisfied. If that were true, more than half the couples would need to resort to a fling.
CJ: Rudranjali 01,  3 Feb 2009   Views:5055   Comments:33

MARRIAGE IS not all about sexual gratification. It’s not about washing your dirty linen of suppressed thoughts in public. Or a social acceptance certificate of your completeness as a man and woman. It’s neither bed of roses all through, nor curse of Shiva`s trinetra.

It has to be worked upon. Generally, couples indulge in excusing and convincing themselves for their misadventure, which eventually results in strained relations and sometime temporary or permanent break up.

Actually, fidelity is not a matter of choice. There is nothing to choose about fidelity because it is like the act of breathing, eating or sleeping. So where is the question of being unfaithful?

However, this is not what is happening in the real world. One excuse often given for cheating is unhappiness or dissatisfaction in marriage. Very often, it is a lame excuse ‘I don’t get pleasure in bed’. If that were true, more than half the couples would need to resort to a fling outside marriage. Statistics have proven that most couples have a dissatisfied sex life.

Sexual infidelity can either be a one-night stand or a short-term relationship. Very often, it also takes the form of setting up the `other’ house/a parallel ongoing relationship. The euphemism is `second marriage’. You could call it by any name, but the truth is that it is about looking beyond a marriage – being unfaithful.

If sexual satisfaction was a benchmark for a successful marriage, the entire system of marriage would be in jeopardy. Marriage is not just about sex. It is about commitment, mutual respect and trust culminating in love.

Also, fidelity is not just about sex. It is also about the respect you give to your partner, thoughts that you have of the partner and the unconditional support that you extend to him or her throughout your life. To sustain this, there has to be total transparency and complete honesty in your relationship with your partner. At the same time, fidelity is also about valuing the need for space in a relationship and allowing for that space for your relationship to nurture.

The time spent in attracting an outside person or factor into your marriage, if invested in making your relationship secure, would help you win the fidelity quotient in your marriage.

A good marriage doesn’t happen automatically. It is worked upon, based on exclusivity and reciprocity. The husband-wife team are insulated and bonded in love that is reciprocated by each other exclusively.


Unfulfilled expectations, disappointments with the partner, frustrations within a marriage – all these precipitate the need to stray. Everyday mundane realities of marriage can be sedentary and bog you down in routine existence.

The question is – are you willing to use this rutty existence as an excuse to cheat your spouse? Marriage is not a piece of paper. This represents a bundle of rights, responsibilities, privileges and immunities that these two parties, have with each other.

There are two keys for happy marriage, one is love and another is a sensible soul. You have to fulfill both for a successful marriage. Marriages based on fantasy and fancy are doomed. You must be willing to put time, effort and thought into nurturing your marriage.

It is beautiful to trust and to live full of trust. Trust or mistrust is also a theme in ’spiritual circles’ and we talk about trusting ourselves, our partner, the society and the world around us. What is trust? I feel it is the highest kind of love. It is the purest form of love.

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