Showing posts with label secret of marriage. Show all posts

Marriage can be a hard thing  

Posted by Rudrakshha in , , ,

Marriage can be a hard thing. It sometimes feels like prison. I mean honestly who created this. I am married; I have been for about 17 years. There is so much to go through. More than I ever thought it would be. 

We usually say that those who think don’t marry, and those who marry do not think. In fact, if we were rational and egoistic beings, that could be a reasonable and logical way to behave. Marriage involves too many compromises and limits to the individual freedom of both partners. To prevent conflicts of interests and idiosyncrasy clashes, not marrying could be indeed a rational decision. Fortunately or unfortunately we are not very rational beings. We can’t avoid feelings, and we can’t stop following our feelings and our instincts - and between them the instinct of love, and marriage. Maybe we are rushing when falling in love or marrying, or mingling love and marriage. But we can’t help it. It’s in our human nature.  

There are huge signs of a massive violence of men over women, in the past.

Wife and Servant are the same
But only differ in the name.

A girl, a young woman, or even an old woman should not do anything independently, even in her own house. In childhood a woman should be under her father’s control, in youth under her husband’s, and later on under her sons. No slave is a slave to the same lengths, and in so full a sense of the word, as a wife is. 

The principle which regulates the existing social relations between the two sexes – the legal subordination of one sex to the other – is wrong in itself, and now one of the chief hindrances to human improvement. The true virtue of human beings is fitness to live together as equals; claiming nothing for themselves but what they as freely concede to everyone else; regarding command of any kind as an exceptional necessity, and in all cases a temporary one.

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Secret of successful marriage  

Posted by Rudrakshha in , , , , , ,


Secret of successful marriage 
Perfect marriages don't exist in the real world. But couples who are willing to put the time, energy and commitment to making their marriage work, can surely reap the flame of love and keep their marriage growing .
 Rudranjali 01,     Views:5183   Comments:26

DO YOU envy the couples who seem to have a perfect happy marriage? No need to be envious, you can have one too. These couples are in no way perfect, probably not even happier but they know how to keep their marriage fresh and exciting. The longer we’re married, the more we tend to forget that we’re married to another person.

We begin to think of our spouses as extensions of ourselves - then we get frustrated when they act in ways that we wouldn’t. We say things like, “Why would you do something like that?” or “How can you think that?” These reactions overlook the fact of difference that our partners are not a part of us and that they have their own individuality. Your sweetheart will inevitably have certain qualities or interests that aren’t appealing to you. 'Otherness' is part of being married - no two people are completely compatible.

It doesn’t take a major change to improve a marriage. The path to a more loving relationship is tread with small steps - with an unexpected compliment, the touch of a hand or a call just to say 'hello'. You can spend thousands on a big anniversary bash for your spouse but the celebration won’t mean much if you haven’t said 'I love you' on the other days of the year.
 
Some little things that can make your marriage better. If you're looking for ways to improve your marriage, you can start with a compliment.
  
So, when was the last time you gave your special someone a genuine compliment?
 
With good manners and politeness getting less and less common in today’s society, even romantic relationships and marriages are starting to suffer from a lack of common courtesy and compliments. Sure, your wife or husband may already know that you think they are attractive or exciting or intelligent. But why should that stop you from using romantic ideas and complimenting them every now and then?
 
Compliments shouldn’t only be reserved for new acquaintances or people who you’re trying to impress. The special people whose support we sometimes take for granted need an occasional compliment, too. A simple 'you look very nice today' or 'your smile is too much' can make your lover feel like a million bucks.
 
There’s no reason to go overboard with compliments, of course and too many can go to a person’s head or start sounding cynical. But promising yourself to give your significant other at least one nice compliment a day or every other day is a great way to make your lover feel appreciated and add some good old-fashioned romance to your relationship.
 
If you cannot think of a reason to give your spouse a compliment, wait until you can think of something to compliment them about -  "You look wonderful," or "That shirt really shows off your eyes." These compliments are more personal and let your spouse know that you find him/her desirable. We all like to be complimented on our appearance but it's common to receive this kind of affirmation more from friends and relatives than from our partner. This is sad because we most want and even need this appreciation from our spouse.
 
When you give sincere compliments to your spouse, several things are accomplished, including but not limited to:
  • Your spouse's self-confidence is increased.
  • Your spouse will feel more appreciated.
  • Your own self-worth is increased.
  • You will feel more romantic.
  • The friendship between the two of you is strengthened.
If your spouse doesn't compliment your appearance, don't look for it elsewhere. Talk to your partner about how you wish to please him. Find out what you could do to encourage more of these compliments and then try some of these things. On the other hand, if you haven't complimented your spouse lately, it's time to start. Don't miss a powerful opportunity to communicate your love and strengthen your relationship.
 
When your spouse does something good or kind or sacrificial, what do you say? Too often a spouse says nothing. I recently heard a psychologist explain that it's normal for a couple to take each other for granted. He said we should accept this as the typical progression of marriage — the longer we are married, the more you take each other for granted.
 
Well, I refuse to accept this. It's not right nor is it healthy.
 
Your spouse does a lot that deserves your appreciation. Maybe it's keeping the house in order; it might be managing children or finances; it could even be going to work or to the grocery store. It is very easy to begin to take your spouse for granted after years of marriage and to just assume that they know how you feel about them.

Everyone needs a pat on the back for a job well done and your wife/husband is no different. If you let your partner know how much you value and appreciate them, it will create an encouraging, nurturing environment and can help you be a more effective team. Don’t take your wife/husband for granted anymore, start complimenting today and you will see that it will create a whole new atmosphere in your home, it truly will.

Some of you as you read this are probably thinking, "Yeah, all that sounds real nice but you don't know me, my spouse or what we've been through." You're right, I don't know. But what I do know is that you will reap what you sow. Perfect marriages don't exist in the real world. But couples who are willing to put the time, energy and commitment to making their marriage work, will be able to reap the flame of love and keep their marriage growing.

 Mark Twain once said that he could live a full month on nothing but a single compliment.

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