Secret of successful marriage  

Posted by Rudrakshha in , , , , , ,


Secret of successful marriage 
Perfect marriages don't exist in the real world. But couples who are willing to put the time, energy and commitment to making their marriage work, can surely reap the flame of love and keep their marriage growing .
 Rudranjali 01,     Views:5183   Comments:26

DO YOU envy the couples who seem to have a perfect happy marriage? No need to be envious, you can have one too. These couples are in no way perfect, probably not even happier but they know how to keep their marriage fresh and exciting. The longer we’re married, the more we tend to forget that we’re married to another person.

We begin to think of our spouses as extensions of ourselves - then we get frustrated when they act in ways that we wouldn’t. We say things like, “Why would you do something like that?” or “How can you think that?” These reactions overlook the fact of difference that our partners are not a part of us and that they have their own individuality. Your sweetheart will inevitably have certain qualities or interests that aren’t appealing to you. 'Otherness' is part of being married - no two people are completely compatible.

It doesn’t take a major change to improve a marriage. The path to a more loving relationship is tread with small steps - with an unexpected compliment, the touch of a hand or a call just to say 'hello'. You can spend thousands on a big anniversary bash for your spouse but the celebration won’t mean much if you haven’t said 'I love you' on the other days of the year.
 
Some little things that can make your marriage better. If you're looking for ways to improve your marriage, you can start with a compliment.
  
So, when was the last time you gave your special someone a genuine compliment?
 
With good manners and politeness getting less and less common in today’s society, even romantic relationships and marriages are starting to suffer from a lack of common courtesy and compliments. Sure, your wife or husband may already know that you think they are attractive or exciting or intelligent. But why should that stop you from using romantic ideas and complimenting them every now and then?
 
Compliments shouldn’t only be reserved for new acquaintances or people who you’re trying to impress. The special people whose support we sometimes take for granted need an occasional compliment, too. A simple 'you look very nice today' or 'your smile is too much' can make your lover feel like a million bucks.
 
There’s no reason to go overboard with compliments, of course and too many can go to a person’s head or start sounding cynical. But promising yourself to give your significant other at least one nice compliment a day or every other day is a great way to make your lover feel appreciated and add some good old-fashioned romance to your relationship.
 
If you cannot think of a reason to give your spouse a compliment, wait until you can think of something to compliment them about -  "You look wonderful," or "That shirt really shows off your eyes." These compliments are more personal and let your spouse know that you find him/her desirable. We all like to be complimented on our appearance but it's common to receive this kind of affirmation more from friends and relatives than from our partner. This is sad because we most want and even need this appreciation from our spouse.
 
When you give sincere compliments to your spouse, several things are accomplished, including but not limited to:
  • Your spouse's self-confidence is increased.
  • Your spouse will feel more appreciated.
  • Your own self-worth is increased.
  • You will feel more romantic.
  • The friendship between the two of you is strengthened.
If your spouse doesn't compliment your appearance, don't look for it elsewhere. Talk to your partner about how you wish to please him. Find out what you could do to encourage more of these compliments and then try some of these things. On the other hand, if you haven't complimented your spouse lately, it's time to start. Don't miss a powerful opportunity to communicate your love and strengthen your relationship.
 
When your spouse does something good or kind or sacrificial, what do you say? Too often a spouse says nothing. I recently heard a psychologist explain that it's normal for a couple to take each other for granted. He said we should accept this as the typical progression of marriage — the longer we are married, the more you take each other for granted.
 
Well, I refuse to accept this. It's not right nor is it healthy.
 
Your spouse does a lot that deserves your appreciation. Maybe it's keeping the house in order; it might be managing children or finances; it could even be going to work or to the grocery store. It is very easy to begin to take your spouse for granted after years of marriage and to just assume that they know how you feel about them.

Everyone needs a pat on the back for a job well done and your wife/husband is no different. If you let your partner know how much you value and appreciate them, it will create an encouraging, nurturing environment and can help you be a more effective team. Don’t take your wife/husband for granted anymore, start complimenting today and you will see that it will create a whole new atmosphere in your home, it truly will.

Some of you as you read this are probably thinking, "Yeah, all that sounds real nice but you don't know me, my spouse or what we've been through." You're right, I don't know. But what I do know is that you will reap what you sow. Perfect marriages don't exist in the real world. But couples who are willing to put the time, energy and commitment to making their marriage work, will be able to reap the flame of love and keep their marriage growing.

 Mark Twain once said that he could live a full month on nothing but a single compliment.

This entry was posted on Saturday, May 16, 2009 at 12:04 PM and is filed under , , , , , , . You can follow any responses to this entry through the comments feed .

2 comments

Harvey Stoppe  

I completely agree with the extensions of ourselves part. That's the beginning, in my book.

May 16, 2009 at 3:18 PM
jong  

for me , constant communication with the partner is one of the secret of successful marriage..

May 24, 2009 at 6:00 AM

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