Marriage after infidelity is a painful experience  

Posted by Rudrakshha in ,


Marriage after infidelity is a painful experience
Healing from infidelity is hard, painful process. Both the partners must be committed to repairing the damage. One of the greatest challenges people attempting to recover from marital infidelity experience is dealing with feelings of loneliness .
CJ: rudraksh 01, 30 Jan 2009 Views:4781 Comments:25

“IF HE/SHE cheats once, get help. If he/she cheats twice, get out.” Not a bad advice, really, because sometimes one can make a mistake and realise all that they stood to lose in choosing to cheat. When that happens, if the party which cheated realises this, makes amends and comes back to the relationship with total honesty that relationship could actually become stronger than it was before because they will realise just what they stood to lose and will do everything in their power not to lose it again.

Marriage can survive infidelity but it hurts. Healing from infidelity is hard, painful work; both the partners must be committed to repairing the damage. One of the greatest challenges people attempting to recover from marital infidelity experience is dealing with the feelings of loneliness and isolation. Every relationship has some good days and some bad days and that’s normal with marriage too. Only you can decide to heal and offer forgiveness, just make sure the partner is worth it. Marriage will be successful again after infidelity if both agree that they will try to make their marriage work. This is possible only if the cheated partner forgives and tries to forget the offence and the cheater mate promises not to cheat again and regrets or makes amends for the wrongdoing.

However, if the person cheats again, then it’s time to let go and move on.


Think hard and you will find the answer within. Deep down you could be dissatisfied with the marriage. Instead of insulting the institution of marriage as well as your partner by indulging in extra-marital affairs, get out of the marriage before it gets worse. Nothing can be worse in a marriage than cuckolding your partner by being unfaithful.

The lesson that one learns from infidelity is that there is difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul that loving doesn’t mean leaning and company doesn’t mean security. One accepts the fact that kisses aren’t contracts and presents aren’t promises and embraces defeat with a head up attitude, with the grace of a man or a woman, not the grief of a child. One learns to build all the roads on today because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans.

This entry was posted on Saturday, July 11, 2009 at 3:53 AM and is filed under , . You can follow any responses to this entry through the comments feed .

23 comments

Aswani  

Hello sir, I think it looks much better now. This js-kit commenting system rocks. Now, others can easily leave their comments. bty, great post. Keep it up :)

July 15, 2009 at 8:18 AM
Kimmy  

You're 100% correct in the fact that a marriage can survive infidelity, I have seen it happen with friends of mine and they are still together. It was an extremely hurtful process but for them they learned more about one another's likes/loves and therefore felt like the marriage was renewed in a sense once they realized what the other really needed within the marriage. They were attempting to please one another by what they thought the other partner wanted/needed and when it came down to it they realized by truly being themselves without reservations or superficial expectations only then could they come together and have the marriage they both sought in the beginning. I can also happily report they are still together after the painful affair and much counseling and have been for the past ten years! Great post and suggestions here and your blog looks divine as well. Cheers!

July 15, 2009 at 8:58 AM
Home affiliate  

thanks for this article rudraksh, for me, love, pure love is the one that will keep someone
from surviving this kind of problem. Yeah it hurts but if you really love someone and you know that he/she is loves you even if he/she cheated then basically, your great love towards that person will make you understand i situation and accept it. Its better to make sacrifices than to lose someone whom you really love for good.

July 15, 2009 at 9:01 AM
shabnam sultan  

Hi,

Your blog looks much better now. Infidelity does hurts but true love survives all the odds. Some forgive their parners because they love them too much.It all depends on how much you love a person and how much you can forgive! There is a saying " Life is a game and love is the reason we play it".

July 16, 2009 at 12:34 AM
Dharmasthali  

“IF HE/SHE cheats once, get help. If he/she cheats twice, get out.” it is real quote, I fill it.

July 16, 2009 at 1:54 AM
TatianaV  

You're giving a very valuable advice in this post Rudrakshha and the quote: “IF HE/SHE cheats once, get help. If he/she cheats twice, get out.” is spot on too. There are couples that are staying together no matter how many times one or both partners keep on cheating. Humans are difficult to understand and even more difficult to change...

Your new designlooks great too :)

July 16, 2009 at 8:15 AM
MAYA  

Hi, your post is very very interesting. Though I haven't got married yet, I understand what you say and think you are totally right.
Please kkep up!

July 16, 2009 at 4:01 PM
Helen  

Hi, blog looks like a dream and the article is very thoughtful. Thanks god, my marriage hasn't gone through this, but I believe your advise will help many people. Cheers! Helen

July 17, 2009 at 12:07 AM
nothingprofound  

RR-there does come a point when fighting to keep a marriage alive may not be worth it. Incessant infidelity is one contributing factor, and lack of communication is another. But I have seen couples stay together no matter what, because they felt it was their duty to do so, or out of laziness or fear of being alone. And I wonder if perhaps that's not also okay seeing as in some individual way it serves their needs and purposes. I suppose the deciding factor for me is how unhappy they are. If they can make peace with themselves and the relationship as it is, I don't see any harm in continuing it, even if it doesn't meet the criteria of what one might consider a successful marriage..

July 17, 2009 at 5:33 AM
Lisa2276  

I don't know what it looked like before, but I like how you have it now. Very nice and the background set like an old document or scroll adds a nice touch.

I agree that a marriage can survive 1 infidelity, but I believe if a person loves you, they wouldn't do it twice. If they do, then you should move on because obviously they don't want to be with you anymore.

July 17, 2009 at 4:35 PM
richa singh  

What great logical ,practical thoughts!!!!Every time I read you Vijesh am just mesmerized.Thanks to this medium that we can read you .Lucky are those who know you closely ..am gone flat on your writing style sir...hats off...hats off...hats off.

Oh yes the blog looks amazing but really doesn't matter how it looks ..the content is great.

July 20, 2009 at 7:20 AM
Rudrakshha  

Thanks to all for their valuable opinions

July 21, 2009 at 6:58 AM
Rudrakshha  

Thanks for your appreciation, and valuable opinion . You always encouraging .

July 21, 2009 at 7:05 AM
Rudrakshha  

Thanks Kimmy for your valuable opinion.

July 21, 2009 at 7:08 AM
Rudrakshha  

Your opinion makes lot of sense.I appreciate that.

July 21, 2009 at 7:09 AM
Rudrakshha  

Yes Mam... " Life is a game,Love is the reason we play it. Deep regards

July 21, 2009 at 7:10 AM
Rudrakshha  

Thanks Buddy , Its all ur efforts.

July 21, 2009 at 7:10 AM
Rudrakshha  

Hail Nepal !!!!!!!!

July 21, 2009 at 7:11 AM
Rudrakshha  

Thanks a lot .

July 21, 2009 at 7:11 AM
Rudrakshha  

Yes you are right, thanks for your time and appreciations.

July 21, 2009 at 7:12 AM
Rudrakshha  

Thanks Helen .....

July 21, 2009 at 7:13 AM
Rudrakshha  

Socrates, As usual you make lot of sense. Your opinion is always the most sought after,esp by me. regards for your time and great inputs.

July 21, 2009 at 7:14 AM
nothingprofound  

Hi RR-I posted some new aphorisms today. Hope you're well. I miss your presence on the discussion boards.
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