Secret of successful marriage  

Posted by Rudrakshha in , ,


Secret of successful marriage :
Perfect marriages don't exist in the real world. But couples who are willing to put the time, energy and commitment to making their marriage work, can surely reap the flame of love and keep their marriage growing .
 Rudranjali ,     Views:4632   Comments:26

DO YOU envy the couples who seem to have a perfect happy marriage? No need to be envious, you can have one too. These couples are in no way perfect, probably not even happier but they know how to keep their marriage fresh and exciting. The longer we’re married, the more we tend to forget that we’re married to another person.

We begin to think of our spouses as extensions of ourselves - then we get frustrated when they act in ways that we wouldn’t. We say things like, “Why would you do something like that?” or “How can you think that?” These reactions overlook the fact of difference that our partners are not a part of us and that they have their own individuality. Your sweetheart will inevitably have certain qualities or interests that aren’t appealing to you. 'Otherness' is part of being married - no two people are completely compatible.

It doesn’t take a major change to improve a marriage. The path to a more loving relationship is tread with small steps - with an unexpected compliment, the touch of a hand or a call just to say 'hello'. You can spend thousands on a big anniversary bash for your spouse but the celebration won’t mean much if you haven’t said 'I love you' on the other days of the year.
 
Some little things that can make your marriage better. If you're looking for ways to improve your marriage, you can start with a compliment.
  
So, when was the last time you gave your special someone a genuine compliment?
 
With good manners and politeness getting less and less common in today’s society, even romantic relationships and marriages are starting to suffer from a lack of common courtesy and compliments. Sure, your wife or husband may already know that you think they are attractive or exciting or intelligent. But why should that stop you from using romantic ideas and complimenting them every now and then?
 
Compliments shouldn’t only be reserved for new acquaintances or people who you’re trying to impress. The special people whose support we sometimes take for granted need an occasional compliment, too. A simple 'you look very nice today' or 'your smile is too much' can make your lover feel like a million bucks.
 
There’s no reason to go overboard with compliments, of course and too many can go to a person’s head or start sounding cynical. But promising yourself to give your significant other at least one nice compliment a day or every other day is a great way to make your lover feel appreciated and add some good old-fashioned romance to your relationship.
 
If you cannot think of a reason to give your spouse a compliment, wait until you can think of something to compliment them about -  "You look wonderful," or "That shirt really shows off your eyes." These compliments are more personal and let your spouse know that you find him/her desirable. We all like to be complimented on our appearance but it's common to receive this kind of affirmation more from friends and relatives than from our partner. This is sad because we most want and even need this appreciation from our spouse.
 
When you give sincere compliments to your spouse, several things are accomplished, including but not limited to:
  • Your spouse's self-confidence is increased.
  • Your spouse will feel more appreciated.
  • Your own self-worth is increased.
  • You will feel more romantic.
  • The friendship between the two of you is strengthened.
If your spouse doesn't compliment your appearance, don't look for it elsewhere. Talk to your partner about how you wish to please him. Find out what you could do to encourage more of these compliments and then try some of these things. On the other hand, if you haven't complimented your spouse lately, it's time to start. Don't miss a powerful opportunity to communicate your love and strengthen your relationship.
 
When your spouse does something good or kind or sacrificial, what do you say? Too often a spouse says nothing. I recently heard a psychologist explain that it's normal for a couple to take each other for granted. He said we should accept this as the typical progression of marriage — the longer we are married, the more you take each other for granted.
 
Well, I refuse to accept this. It's not right nor is it healthy.
 
Your spouse does a lot that deserves your appreciation. Maybe it's keeping the house in order; it might be managing children or finances; it could even be going to work or to the grocery store. It is very easy to begin to take your spouse for granted after years of marriage and to just assume that they know how you feel about them.


Everyone needs a pat on the back for a job well done and your wife/husband is no different. If you let your partner know how much you value and appreciate them, it will create an encouraging, nurturing environment and can help you be a more effective team. Don’t take your wife/husband for granted anymore, start complimenting today and you will see that it will create a whole new atmosphere in your home, it truly will.

Some of you as you read this are probably thinking, "Yeah, all that sounds real nice but you don't know me, my spouse or what we've been through." You're right, I don't know. But what I do know is that you will reap what you sow. Perfect marriages don't exist in the real world. But couples who are willing to put the time, energy and commitment to making their marriage work, will be able to reap the flame of love and keep their marriage growing.

 Mark Twain once said that he could live a full month on nothing but a single compliment.

This entry was posted on Thursday, June 4, 2009 at 8:42 AM and is filed under , , . You can follow any responses to this entry through the comments feed .

28 comments

too early for me to comment on this issue... :-p

June 4, 2009 at 2:23 PM

Thank you for sharing these advice for married couples. Yes, too often, married people never compliment their partners anymore, thinking that there is no need to say it because my partners knows that I love him/her. But of course, a little praise won't hurt anybody. In fact, it could actually do wonders to a relationship. Having read this, I realized that I should compliment my husband more. But what about criticisms? For example, I think that my husband is getting fat too like me, but he doesn't seem to make effort to lose weight? I find myself scolding him to lose weight, do push-ups. Its hard to compliment when you don't see anything to compliment on? What do you think? Thanks

June 4, 2009 at 10:12 PM

Hi Vijesh.
Anatoli here.
Please send me email from my blog.
I don't see other way for us to communicate.
Thanks.

June 5, 2009 at 12:20 AM
MAX STEEL  

Very Good Sir!!!

June 5, 2009 at 1:34 AM

hey vijesh...gr8 thought...not giving compliments and catering to one others need..is one of the major reason these days of not being able to understand each other ultimately leading to separation...

June 5, 2009 at 6:08 AM

Great reminder! It's easy to remember to appreciate Hank (my hubby) on special days such as this, his birthday. The trick is to remember to appreciate him no matter the date.

Thanks for the thoughtful post!

June 5, 2009 at 6:33 AM

It's all true. I've utilized that atitutde and philosophy for over 23 years, which is why I'm still married to the same beautiful and wonderful woman. I'm a lucky man.

June 5, 2009 at 10:18 AM

This was very insightful and made me think about my own relationship. Thanks RR.

June 5, 2009 at 2:49 PM

Success in marriage needs the two partners being compatible with each other. For this you have to be choosy while going in for a marriage -
http://www.theosophus.com/articles/382/how-should-one-chose-a-mate/

June 5, 2009 at 5:04 PM

I just got married so all these tips come in well handy. Great post!

June 7, 2009 at 7:21 PM
Anonymous  

What thousands of comments? Where?

June 9, 2009 at 8:42 PM

Never take him for granted. ;)

June 10, 2009 at 9:47 AM

Incredible article about making a marriage successful. thanx for sharing

June 11, 2009 at 1:27 PM
germinoj  

Site looks good, is a common theme, I know six blogs that use the same theme, I had used it for my poetry blog originally. Articles are good for relationships and married couples.

July 15, 2009 at 10:13 AM
Abhigyan Prakash  

U have to pestor him a lot { ur hubby } Dont expect things to things will work overnight.But definaitly in the long run u will and ur hubby will benifit.

July 16, 2009 at 12:57 AM
Rudraksh  

thanks

July 16, 2009 at 12:58 AM
Rudraksh  

will do that

July 16, 2009 at 12:58 AM
josie  

true a little compliment once in a while make the partner feel appreciated and happy of course, being married for more than 20 years, I came to accept all his flaws, though sometimes I still get annoyed with some of his habits.

July 16, 2009 at 2:30 AM
MartinaJ  

This if a fantastic blog!!! I would like to share a secret with you. One day I sent my husband a text and it read "I Love You!!! This message would distruct in 10 seconds!!!" I could just see the smile on his face. He really liked the surprise, a few minutes later he called me and I could tell he was blushing!!!

July 17, 2009 at 3:38 PM
Rudrakshha  

Thanks cynthia for your valuable input.Your opinions always matter to me. Thanks.

July 21, 2009 at 7:20 AM
Rudrakshha  

Thanks

July 21, 2009 at 7:21 AM
Rudrakshha  

You have touched the crux of the issue, always remember Mark Twain. Regards

July 21, 2009 at 7:22 AM
Rudrakshha  

Thanks you sir, You took your time from your busy schedule.regards

July 21, 2009 at 7:23 AM
Rudrakshha  

ALN, You are always welcome.

July 21, 2009 at 7:23 AM
Rudrakshha  

All the best.Catch is not in remembering, Its using them at the right time always, best of luck...

July 21, 2009 at 7:24 AM
Rudrakshha  

Pl do search,hope you may find them.

July 21, 2009 at 7:24 AM
Rudrakshha  

Thanks Martina, you are always encouraging.

July 21, 2009 at 7:25 AM
Rudrakshha  

Although its apet of life,Hope you acknowledge the importance of the fact,and who better than a veteran of 20 years like you.

July 21, 2009 at 7:26 AM

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