Suicide: A permanent solution to a temporary problem? 
It is vital not to pressurise the person into talking if they don’t want to but giving them the time and space to talk openly without interrupting or offering solutions or judging them can provide the first step in helping them cope with the crisis.
 Rudranjali 01,     Views:5210   Comments:56

ONE QUESTION, which has troubled me so often is what could be the reason, which makes a person decide to end his own life? What are those circumstances that living becomes so difficult? Why a person decides to destroy God’s finest creation? Why can’t we just stop worrying and start living...? There is always a way, we need to have the will.

Most suicides appear to be associated with a long-lasting depression; they are often "a permanent solution to a temporary problem." Others who commit suicide are not depressed. They kill themselves because of terminal illness, intractable pain, and/or the loss of dignity, control and love.

It is almost as though the darkness of an evil has a hold on our minds and hearts in those darkest moments when suicide seems right, rational and eminent. The main problem with suicide is that it is murder. You would be murdering a person even though it would be your own self -- you are still a person. It is a health issue -- the health of our brain determines how we perceive and feel the world. When we are depressed, we must consider that our decisions will be based on a body system that is not functioning as it should. The thinking and feeling process is not working right. It is our pain and a "broken" brain that is leading us to suicide. Through our tears and our suffering, we must try to recognise that we are not well, and our thoughts are a danger to us.  But sometimes we cannot see this.

We usually don’t want to kill ourselves over a broken leg. We have more experience in knowing that the body can heal itself, in this case with a doctor’s help, to set the leg so it can heal. Emotions have so much power. And these are unbalanced thoughts and emotions of an almost "injured" brain. It is almost as if a dark force is whispering in our ear, trying to hurt us, trying to get us to hurt ourselves, and sometimes, to hurt other people. Many commit suicide not for their own hurt, but they feel that it would hurt the person who has hurt them.

Most people have thought of suicide at some time of their lives and not all people who commit suicide have mental health problems at the time of death. However, a majority of people who kill themselves do have such problems, usually to a serious degree. Sometimes, this has been diagnosed before the person’s death and at times not. People who kill themselves have often told someone that they do not feel life is worth living or that they have no future. Some may have actually said they want to die. Whilst it may be the case that some people talk about suicide as a way of getting the attention they need, it is very important that everyone who says they feel suicidal be treated seriously. People who have attempted to kill themselves are significantly more likely to eventually die by suicide than the rest of the population.


Feeling suicidal is often a temporary state of mind. Whilst someone may feel low or distressed for a sustained period the actual suicidal crisis can be relatively short term. This is what makes timely emotional support so important. People may talk about their feelings because they want support in dealing with them. In this sense it may be that they do indeed want attention in which case giving that attention may save their life. The majority of people who feel suicidal do not actually want to die; they do not want to live the life they have. The distinction may seem small but is, in fact, very important and that is why other options at the right time are so vital.

Suicidal behavior differs from person to person. Some people show very positive behavior such as happiness or relief once their decision to take their own life and end the pain has been made.

Unusual behavior, such as being very withdrawn or excessively animated can also be a sign that there is something wrong. If someone is going through an emotional distress they can feel very isolated and will sometimes show anger or impatience towards the people close to them. Low self-esteem, being close to tears and not being able to cope with small every day events are also signs that someone is struggling to cope with overwhelming feelings.

Physical symptoms of depression and distress also include sleeplessness, loss of appetite or irregular eating, stomach aches, panic attacks, low energy and loss of concentration. Signs that someone is suicidal can include talking of tidying up their affairs or expressing feelings of despair and failure.

If you are worried about a friend, colleague or family member they may really appreciate your asking them how they are. You don’t have to be able to solve their problem, or even to completely understand it, but listening to what they have to say will at least let them know you care.

Remember to act quickly. When someone is distressed, it may be a seemingly small thing or something which only affects them indirectly which acts as the trigger to them becoming suicidal or acting out suicidal thoughts. Letting someone know that you are there whenever they want to talk is the first step in offering help.

If you feel able to, offer support and encourage your friend, colleague or family member to talk about how they are feeling. Ask direct questions and don’t be afraid of frank discussions. If someone is talking about suicide always take it seriously. It is a myth that talking about suicide is attention seeking.It is vital not to pressurise the person into talking if they don’t want to, but giving them the time and space to talk openly without interrupting or offering solutions or judging them can provide the first step in helping them cope with the crisis.

Remember that it is difficult to support someone who is suicidal on your own. Take care not to take on so much of other people’s problems that you yourself start feeling depressed. Encourage your friend to seek emotional support and talk to someone they trust -- maybe friends, family, medical services.

If you are worried about a friend, colleague or family member they may really appreciate you asking how they are. Talking about a problem is never easy. You don’t have to be able to solve their problem, or even to completely understand it, but listening to what they have to say will at least let them know you care.

This entry was posted on Saturday, May 30, 2009 at 9:03 AM and is filed under , , , . You can follow any responses to this entry through the comments feed .

13 comments

Hello, dropping by from blogcatalog.
Thank you for visiting mine, have a nice day and God bless you.

Cheers, frizzy.

June 1, 2009 at 3:58 AM

This is a very good post on a complex subject. You raised what I feel is a very important issue, that because you think about suicide, doesn't mean you have a mental health problem.
I think that a lot of distress is caused by people wondering if they are mentally ill, possibly a downside of treatment, is increased exposure, it has become a question people ask themselves.
I look forward to the day where helping those in need and public understanding reach a relationship that benefits everybody.

June 1, 2009 at 5:26 AM

This is a great post on suicide. After working in the mental health field for 13 years, I have seen so many suicidal people. It is a heartbreaking experience to know that people are worth staying alive and you cannot help them to realize.

Thank you for such a great post!

June 2, 2009 at 8:10 AM

Suicide is caused by a wrong perception of one's true nature and ignorance of one's true purpose in life. Normally a person who commits suicide focuses on himself alone and treats the world as either for him or against him. If he feels that the world turns against him, he loses all reasons to live or survive. Thus he commits suicide to punish those who continue to ignore him. He feels that the people around him will finally notice him when he dies and they will feel the remorse of losing him. If a person realizes that his life is not his own and that he was created for a divine purpose and that is, to please God and give glory to His name, then he will act accordingly and willingly surrender his own life to God to be used by God in the furtherance of His divine purpose. Thanks for the post. God bless.

June 2, 2009 at 1:59 PM

Some psychiatrists say that people who have suicidal instincts can take away other people's lives you. It is very essential to convince those people to seek medical help or any kind of external help as they can harm anyone around them.

June 3, 2009 at 12:16 PM

I think people who contemplate suicide don't really think past that moment. They will not be here to see how people react. Many don't really want to die, they just don't want to hurt anymore.

June 3, 2009 at 1:21 PM

Well, I am neither supporter of suicide or going to do that. But since you have raised the question why people commit suicide, I request you to please read my last post on http://rambansal.wordpress.com
The State of UP officials have been paralysing my intellectual life and I have no other purpose of my life. I am surviving to fight it out.

June 3, 2009 at 7:38 PM

One of my aunts committed suicide. Her mom had some mental problems and was abusive to her and her siblings. When she started getting the menopause she started having problems herself. She was an MD for the Mexican military. Both my uncle and her boss recognized the problem and forced her to get treatment. They also confiscated her weapons. She wasn't getting better and they sent her to another city, she was staying at a friend's house. Her friend was also in the military, so my aunt took her friend's gun and shot herself.
Later on, we found out that she talked to her oldest son and told him that she was afraid to hurt them. We believe that to be the reason why she decided to do what she did. She put her kids first and felt that they were at risk with her. I don't justify her and I can say that it was very difficult for everyone in the family to understand what she did. However, I can understand that she truly believe she was going to hurt her kids and she thought that was the only way out.
Good post Rudraksh :-)

June 5, 2009 at 1:14 PM

As someone who has gone through depression and had thoughts of suicide, I actually dreaded hearing reasons why life was worth living.

Why? Beneath all the inspiration, there's a huge non-acceptance that suicide is an option, and sometimes a rather sane option. We're coming around as a society to view euthanasia as acceptable in certain circumstances - because it's rational.

In interacting with suicidal people, some of them are quite clear: they have been damaged in an extreme manner on an emotional level and it is unlikely that they will ever heal. Psychology can help, but it's not magic. There are many types of people (and problems) psychologists want to avoid because they can't help. E.g., Borderline Personality Disorder.

Paradoxically, I found that people around people who totally accepted me - including the thought and any desire of suicide - made me appreciate who I am and my life more. That's what acceptance and love is - it includes the darkness too.

I'm not advocating suicide to anyone, but rather that it is quite understandable under some circumstances. Being loving and understanding, without trying to save them or convince them that they shouldn't have such thoughts, is such a rare gift.

June 8, 2009 at 5:43 PM

Great post. Keep up the great work :)

June 10, 2009 at 3:19 AM

great post keep it up

June 10, 2009 at 4:00 AM

A very serious post. Sometimes I know people wonder how anyone can do such a thing, but you never know until you have walked in their shoes, and one should never say they wouldn't do such a thing because it could be possible. Sometimes I believe that the trecherous thought or act can come from not being able to DEAL with things that the person has done or not done. Life becomes so overwhelming that they don't see any other alternative.

June 12, 2009 at 4:51 PM
suraj78  

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July 19, 2009 at 5:36 AM

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